Clik here to view.
Ya damn kids get off my lawn!
Husband and I bought a minivan today. We are one step closer to being ready to be a family of four and one step closer to teenagers targetting us for roof-eggings and law-toilet-paperings. I am having...
View ArticleClik here to view.
I think she’s having a wee bit of trouble adjusting to the new baby
Before today, I was skeptical of demon possession. After the morning that I just experienced with my two and a half year old daughter, I am thoroughly convinced. Filed under: just keeping it real,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Back away from the fontanels on the four month old
I’ve had to say “stop it Stumps! leave her head alone!” more times than I can count today. Poor Beans Filed under: Beans, just keeping it real, parenting, sibling rivalry, Stumps Tagged: Beans, just...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A more effective contraceptive
Husband is upstairs giving the girls a bath. In the last ten minutes I have heard him say: “No. Stop pouring water on her. Quit it she can’t breathe. Stop splashing water on the floor. You are flooding...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Taser
I’m not saying that I would actually tase my 4 year old to stop her from continuously antagonizing my crying 1 year old while I am operating a vehicle and can’t stop the abuse… I’m just saying I...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Forgiveness
“Mommy! Beanie apologized to me. I picked her up and dropped her, but she apologized and I forgave her.” Wow sweetie. What a tender heart and generous spirit you have to assault and knock the baby...
View ArticleClik here to view.
“I’m two. Don’t f*** with me.”
My now four-year-old Stumps was a high-strung newborn who would routinely scream from 4-7 pm every afternoon for the first four months of her life. So when the Jellybean came along nearly...
View ArticleClik here to view.
On today’s episode of Dubious Compliments from Stumps
“Mommy your face looks like a sandwich ’cause it has moles all over it.” I assume she is referring to my sun damage age spots large pores freckles. Um. What types of sandwiches have they been feeding...
View Article
